Im so freakin hopeless
i am a complainer......i am ....i bitch and curse and annoy about not getting enough chances to do what i want....but i now realise that I am given....in fact im given a fuck load of chances...but i(as i hav dun so many times before) blown them all...why?because im too damn stupid....
nov 14 is a day of rejoicing...a school holiday if u will...a sort of compenstion the school admn offers to console the devastated students of D.P.S R.Kpuram for the horrible inhuman,draggin thrugh the dirt that we received on results day....sort of like shootin a guy right between the eyes and sayin "ohh shit...yeah that was my fault...but u know this will do you good in the long run"....So naturally i look forward to this one little measure of certainty and little assured sanity so come the day of the children's day carnival im as pumped a....uhh.a...uhh..im just really pumped...its like im high ...i'll get my clothes out the night before and wake up extra early in the morning(while my mother says" u know if u dont feel ike u don't have to go to school today")
PIZZZZ (fast sound)im out the door..Im at the bus stop freezin in my open shirt and tshirt inside BUT im lookin good and hopefully smelling good...By the way our school once made the sorry mistake of refering to the carnival as a fete (a french word which means party...Pronounced as fetey)which is now referred to by the illiterates of our scool as fate...i don't even fuckin bother to correct them(why fight a lost battle?)...Over the last 4 yrs i have had the oppurtunity to do 4 carnivals..and had an amazing amount of fun in each and evry one of them i flirted like a 16 yr old on extasy..danced like a guy on weed...and acted like a guy on smack...
i had my friends from eighth and i loved evry minute of it....
This year when i came to the carnival i met all my frends and passed the customary mean ass remarks on their gay sense of dressing....yeah all the signs of being an awesum day....i mean i exaggerated on sum remarks but come a sardar wearing a ponytail and a bandana is just askin for it ......then we had a useless assembly which we have every year...what it accomplishes i will never know.....i gess they cant let us have a complete day of fun...so they prefix the carnival with a stupid nasty song from our resident banshees(sum hindi math teachers)then a music teacher ..not so mucha teacher as a 35 yr old whose voice fluctuates from an earthly baritone to a high pitched squeak...then came the carnival....
NOTE:for the sake of preserving the social status of certain people from biting the dust because of their affiliation with myself i will refer to them as X,Y and Z....
When u find urself at such a fun happening INSIDE thbe school premises u tend to get confused and wonder what to do first i mean its only 9 45 on the morn ....how can u possibly start dancing????Having pizza before noon....hell no(not while i was paying anyway)...so i contented myself with roaming aroung the premises trying to find sumone who was like my self and did not refer to me as yaar...i hate that plebian term.....i also spent much of the morning trying to rid myself of this annoying pest who was always confiding details of his testosterone requirements in me.....yeuch that is sick......
i finally zeroed in on sum people hu were or seemed to be my kinda people....namely tejas( a guy who was facially challenged ...he had a nose that could put sumone's eye out lest he turn his head in a crowded area) nikhil(a chiropractors worst nightmare witha hunch so bad they actually considered him for the part of the hunch -back of notre dame...he also acts a chick magnet for girls so ugly their very existence is damning evidence to accusation that mother naturei s not doing her job well....at all) and a foul mouthed hater by the general name natansh who amicably refers to me as 'a stupid bitch'...
we roamed around...tried to find tejas's pocket sized girl friend which was tougher than not making an ass of urself in front of a really good looking girl....and that for me is FUCKIN hard...
in the end it was time to dance...okay here we go...i have sumthing to say....now this my scandalise sum but im a GOOD DANCER...there i said it....but i gess coz my old friends where either at home or dancing with sum new freaks (which pissed me of seeing as how im the resident weirdo)so there really was no catalyst to get the party goin..i tried coke,pepsi,sprite all in vain attempts to get high and maybe then i could start dancing...(by the way i wound up going to the washroom to take a mega leak)so i kept drinking till my friend natansh informed me that in order to get drunk the drink had to have some small amnt of alcohol and not just artificial coloring.....
so i ventured into the fray in the hope that maybe just maybe i could perhaps get asked to dance by the aforesaid X.....i went in ...i came out...i went in again...i came out again..all in 5 mins....i couldn't even dance i just sort of stood there...
i came i saw i retreated.....then i decided to give up and dedicated all my skills to taking circles of the ground eating a borrowed packet mentos..and bitching aboput the dj who loved kajra re ...i hate that song with every fibre in my body....the dj by the way was a bore and oddly was the same one we got last year..further proof of the conspiracy to screw children's day for ever.....now while the paaji DJ(i don't mean to be racial...but when sum guy is destroying your day suddenly ur cool with a little racial profiling)then i had the misfortune of meeting Mr. Y who is just a bloody pain in the CENSORED.....he kept accusing me of homosexuality just because i didn't scratch myself constantly in the crotch and talk continuously of pamela anderson's gifts from mother nature(which later became gifts from Mr Plastic Surgeon)...he later showed me how anatomically correct a particular ninthie was(he's a tenthie)..i.having lost faith in humanity all together sat down on the podium and swung mylegs while i looked at other people enjoy a perfectly normal carnival..while i was sitting on REJECT ROW..yup the red baron was flying solo...not that i didn't get asked to join the frenzy i just felt depressed for some reason....Nearing the end when that little bengali frustrate Goswami came on stage and told evry 1 the fun was over(she's another sadist in the ever swelling ranks of pains of our schools..probably doesn't get ANY home and takes it out on us..)i didn't flinch....shit...i must be really depressed.....i wound up in the basement (figuratively as well as metaphorically)and found myself in the company of a couple of seemingly fun twelfthies and natansh and a one of a kind senorita.....and then the day ended
done...finito...meiacha...khatam....
A new day is just the same shit just a different day........but God knows im not gonna fuckin feel depressed coz the king khan dont go down..thank yu
natansh...ur a real bitch.....frickin funny
SaNjAnA ....thanx senorita...know it or not u made me feel much better
Tarun....u r HilArIoUs
C ya all y'all in skool
Luv yu all homies
ThE rEd bArOn

The Red Baron

Ever since the beginning of this sorry existence that is my life i have always been fascinated with the red baron....He was a German Luftwaffe Pilot so revered and feared that people started calling him The Red Baron...And said that his plane (which was incidentally red )was splattered with the blood of all those that he downed in World War II...He founded the Jasta 11(pronounced yasta) a squadron of flying aces that shot down 981 allied aircrafts between them...
I think he's pretty damn cool...You might ask what this might have to do with my blog ...nuthing really its just that sumtimes....i think when you're up there in the sky like the old baron in a frickin piece metal thats nothing more than a modified flying fuel tank and you put everything on the line..fly as far up as u can ..putting everything on the line..everything you got..blood sweat and tears ..everything...and you look down...

Yeah dats some heavy stuff i laid down but seriously getting back to this blog...when i roam around in school doing pretty much nothing except bitching about people(dats right i said bitch...wat r u gonna do about it ?????)interspaced with periodic bursts of profanity i am thinking....yes so behind that seemingly daft exterior im one helluva think tank...i look at stuff around me and my sneaky suspicion that this world is just Gods little idea of a sick joke gets reaffirmed....... so this little blog is my way of passing on the heads-up to all y'all...See the way i see it Im pretty much stuck here on this lame planet until I do sumthing stupid and get shot or until my mothership comes back to pick me up....But as much i hate this world and the cycle of life as a whole there are a number of people who put up with the same shit as me and are there to back me up....this is to them...ladies and non-ladies this is my testimony to the assumption we all make at on time or another....Life is a BITCH......

Que Pasa Amigos??
Look i got a couple of things i have to declare...one,having 6 packets of Hajmola as substitute for Lunch is in fact not a smart thing to do...two,....uhh ....never mind its just that one...
Yesterday we got our exam results ..yes the proverbial periodic-kick in the nuts...only this time it was more like wrecking ball than a kick....sumthing i probably will never understand is what teachers stand to gain from tormenting us besides from a sadistic pleasure...At first i used to think that teachers do what is best for us...yea i was one ignorant ass..That is one dysfunctional belief...Lets get sum thing straight exam papers dont prove a fucking thing...Donald Trump flunked his math exams on a pretty fucking regular basis and guess what... he has his own jet,yacht,island and all the other things that get my undivided adoration..While that teacher who flunked him either died of kidney failure a while ago or is taking out his frustration on other modern day students...now i didn't flunk in my math exams (yea i suck....but dude...im not that bad) ........Sumthing that never ceases to amaze me are the rituals people go through to make sure that do well in their exams....People go on a strictly vegetarian diet...or wont clip their nails (wat the hell will that accomplish?????) ..then comes exam time ..before the exam people will mutter the longest prayer they damn well know( it could be a prayer for fertility for all they know)..people will kiss their exam sheets ...yea man frenching the exam paper is gonna get u real far... then when the results come out....now that is some HI-LARIOUS STUFF....people will pull out all sorts of bracelets necklaces idols and start a little temple rite there....of course i was different..i was quivering and sweating profusely my next paper was accompanied by more quivering and more sweating...by the time i was on my last paper i was dangerously dehydrated....wat does a teacher hope to accomplish by laying out sarcasm..hunh..???my teacher while handing out the papers "fahad....very good im proud of you keep up the gud work"..i got 68 on 100 ......
But you know,i've stopped caring because i know that all these exams are nothing but a provision by the school administrators for the teachers....... a sort of payback oppurtunity.....
So all the payback for my making rascist jokes about the teachers....continuously harrassing them ...frustrating them to extent of challenging their sanity...comes out in these exams..
BELIEVE me i've a LOT of payback coming..
And this is my tribute to Rosa Parks .......The hard-ass who told the American govt. to PISS OFF