Friends..Dipsites..Homies...lend me ur headphones......
For i have something i need to get off my chest.Why??Why does the sun shine?Why do the birds sing??Why am i so idle??There are things in this unverse we acn't justify so we just fucking well accept!!!
Now then getting down to it a little word of comment...The movies as a rule are a gross exagerration of life as we know it...in fact they are such a gross exagerration of life that...that....that im a at a fucking loss for a suitable example....now the thing is many of you will probably argue saying that im overly cynical and that ive just run out of things to complain so now im blowing movies...thats partly true but nevertheless pay attention...
I've noticed that for a while now the like of Pixar studios has been doing a great injustice ...a grave injustice ....first they released The Incredibles and duely robbed me of a Rs.150 fat ones...
then they released all kinds of kid movies knowing full-fucking well that fahad has this annoying brother who strongly resembles a gnat both in figure and nature...the really shitty thing is they know full well that i pay for my cuz-bro's little pixar addiction....shit...shouldn't have had all that pepsi caffechino....my brains hotwired ..even more fuzzed up than usual......
Getting back to my point...which was...umm....wait i know this one.....yea!!!yea!!!...there are a lot of things in movies which are seriously misleading...you know like how the good guy wins always ...the heroine the hero rescues who everybody thinks is ugly,actually looks like a bloody supermodel......To further elucidate this shaky stand allow me to elucidate....

-Universal Studios released the movie hitch which as we all have felt was a real warm-and-fuzzy-and-cute-and-feel-good-movie...but as is expected of me i found not only a hundred faults but came away reasonably depressed...For example have you noticed how Will Smith acts soo suave in the bar when he first meets Eva Mendes and assaults her with these corny sort of sherlock holmes deductions that a blind Cuban could make......did i mention these were extraordinarily corny...But noooooo....Its Will Smith so naturally the hot hispanic lady smiles and thinks he's cute but If i were to try that...she would look at me for a second gobsmacked and then tear into uncontrollable laughter..Then of course there is exhibit b...You know the fat guy in the movie who has a crush on the really rich slim chick??Yeah well it turns out that this RICH SLIM chick apparently has this thing for the fat guy who presently was unemployed(got fired )
clumsier than a chimp at a bypass surgery and reallyalll in all the guy is a pretty big chump...but
yet she finds him cute and stuff...and YET here i am still in a twist because Ms X. does in fact not
have a secret crush on the lovable chimp in this context (me u idiots).......
I rest my case....will i get justice...i dunno...will the pope ever get a colored mohawk???

-Movies have a nasty habit of pulling the nastiest stunt possible...Giving people hope and then the second the said people walk out of the theatre guess what that hope is about as gone as the ...as the..as the ....as the wind(hey its hard coming up with these metaphors)
Like have you ever noticed how in Bollywood movies the hero can stop an entire platoon by himself..shit...we could have won WW2 by ourselves if we had a battalion of Sunny Deols......
And then of course the thing i hate the most about movies is how just when the director gets plot constipated ..we have a nice super color sequence where every one you meet on the street apparently so much idle time that on their way to the office they can manage do a jig with you on the way...don't worry they already know the steps so u just dance and they'll hang on after u like a bunch of spastic platypusses......and it doesn't end there...no..no..in fact if you wind up at home everybody at your place is all dresseed up just walking around the premises like a bunch of distressed souls...and have you ever wondered how they are all immaculately dressed finished with eye shadow, silicone..the whole nine yards....and how all the Daughter-in-laws are inherent bitches who have a snide comment for all occasions..Another thing...you can always make out the seriousness of a situation by the tempo of the background music..like when the music is at a crescendo,you know some shit is going down...and one last thing.....in Hollywood the parents are always so cool with their son or daughter going to pool parties and having the most goddamned perfect rooms with awesome computers...the kids are all apperently great at studies or are so popular and good sportsmen and how each and every fucking one of them has six pac ...and how the fucking kids are all lifesize Barbie and Ken dolls and they apparently are so faithful to each other.....And if you are not doing too well in sports or if you flunk every exam...all it takes is a inspiring soundtrack to make you the best at every thing...one chorus of" ima survivor" and the next thing you know the fat guy has a six pac...the braces are off the thick glasses have been trashed...the stupid goon is now a fucking topper...It doesn't happen...Believe dat
And now for the finale....Movies always....and i emphasise this...ALWAYS...have a happy ending....

Let me warn you off a couple things...Life is NOt fair...Your parents are Not cool with you having a girlfriend...there is no soundtrack in life (okay maybe a funeral march )....the girl you have a crush on does in fact not have a crush on you too ...and above all.....
Life Does Not Have A Happy Ending......People die...shit happens....Its not easy to make it to the top..friends are not as true as they are in the movies...they won't back you up no matter how much care for them...it means nothing
Life is not easy....I ignored that fact....I've Learnt it the hard way.......
Peace
Baron
Ps Daaaamn that felt good