Im so freakin hopeless
i am a complainer......i am ....i bitch and curse and annoy about not getting enough chances to do what i want....but i now realise that I am given....in fact im given a fuck load of chances...but i(as i hav dun so many times before) blown them all...why?because im too damn stupid....
nov 14 is a day of rejoicing...a school holiday if u will...a sort of compenstion the school admn offers to console the devastated students of D.P.S R.Kpuram for the horrible inhuman,draggin thrugh the dirt that we received on results day....sort of like shootin a guy right between the eyes and sayin "ohh shit...yeah that was my fault...but u know this will do you good in the long run"....So naturally i look forward to this one little measure of certainty and little assured sanity so come the day of the children's day carnival im as pumped a....uhh.a...uhh..im just really pumped...its like im high ...i'll get my clothes out the night before and wake up extra early in the morning(while my mother says" u know if u dont feel ike u don't have to go to school today")
PIZZZZ (fast sound)im out the door..Im at the bus stop freezin in my open shirt and tshirt inside BUT im lookin good and hopefully smelling good...By the way our school once made the sorry mistake of refering to the carnival as a fete (a french word which means party...Pronounced as fetey)which is now referred to by the illiterates of our scool as fate...i don't even fuckin bother to correct them(why fight a lost battle?)...Over the last 4 yrs i have had the oppurtunity to do 4 carnivals..and had an amazing amount of fun in each and evry one of them i flirted like a 16 yr old on extasy..danced like a guy on weed...and acted like a guy on smack...
i had my friends from eighth and i loved evry minute of it....
This year when i came to the carnival i met all my frends and passed the customary mean ass remarks on their gay sense of dressing....yeah all the signs of being an awesum day....i mean i exaggerated on sum remarks but come a sardar wearing a ponytail and a bandana is just askin for it ......then we had a useless assembly which we have every year...what it accomplishes i will never know.....i gess they cant let us have a complete day of fun...so they prefix the carnival with a stupid nasty song from our resident banshees(sum hindi math teachers)then a music teacher ..not so mucha teacher as a 35 yr old whose voice fluctuates from an earthly baritone to a high pitched squeak...then came the carnival....
NOTE:for the sake of preserving the social status of certain people from biting the dust because of their affiliation with myself i will refer to them as X,Y and Z....
When u find urself at such a fun happening INSIDE thbe school premises u tend to get confused and wonder what to do first i mean its only 9 45 on the morn ....how can u possibly start dancing????Having pizza before noon....hell no(not while i was paying anyway)...so i contented myself with roaming aroung the premises trying to find sumone who was like my self and did not refer to me as yaar...i hate that plebian term.....i also spent much of the morning trying to rid myself of this annoying pest who was always confiding details of his testosterone requirements in me.....yeuch that is sick......
i finally zeroed in on sum people hu were or seemed to be my kinda people....namely tejas( a guy who was facially challenged ...he had a nose that could put sumone's eye out lest he turn his head in a crowded area) nikhil(a chiropractors worst nightmare witha hunch so bad they actually considered him for the part of the hunch -back of notre dame...he also acts a chick magnet for girls so ugly their very existence is damning evidence to accusation that mother naturei s not doing her job well....at all) and a foul mouthed hater by the general name natansh who amicably refers to me as 'a stupid bitch'...
we roamed around...tried to find tejas's pocket sized girl friend which was tougher than not making an ass of urself in front of a really good looking girl....and that for me is FUCKIN hard...
in the end it was time to dance...okay here we go...i have sumthing to say....now this my scandalise sum but im a GOOD DANCER...there i said it....but i gess coz my old friends where either at home or dancing with sum new freaks (which pissed me of seeing as how im the resident weirdo)so there really was no catalyst to get the party goin..i tried coke,pepsi,sprite all in vain attempts to get high and maybe then i could start dancing...(by the way i wound up going to the washroom to take a mega leak)so i kept drinking till my friend natansh informed me that in order to get drunk the drink had to have some small amnt of alcohol and not just artificial coloring.....
so i ventured into the fray in the hope that maybe just maybe i could perhaps get asked to dance by the aforesaid X.....i went in ...i came out...i went in again...i came out again..all in 5 mins....i couldn't even dance i just sort of stood there...
i came i saw i retreated.....then i decided to give up and dedicated all my skills to taking circles of the ground eating a borrowed packet mentos..and bitching aboput the dj who loved kajra re ...i hate that song with every fibre in my body....the dj by the way was a bore and oddly was the same one we got last year..further proof of the conspiracy to screw children's day for ever.....now while the paaji DJ(i don't mean to be racial...but when sum guy is destroying your day suddenly ur cool with a little racial profiling)then i had the misfortune of meeting Mr. Y who is just a bloody pain in the CENSORED.....he kept accusing me of homosexuality just because i didn't scratch myself constantly in the crotch and talk continuously of pamela anderson's gifts from mother nature(which later became gifts from Mr Plastic Surgeon)...he later showed me how anatomically correct a particular ninthie was(he's a tenthie)..i.having lost faith in humanity all together sat down on the podium and swung mylegs while i looked at other people enjoy a perfectly normal carnival..while i was sitting on REJECT ROW..yup the red baron was flying solo...not that i didn't get asked to join the frenzy i just felt depressed for some reason....Nearing the end when that little bengali frustrate Goswami came on stage and told evry 1 the fun was over(she's another sadist in the ever swelling ranks of pains of our schools..probably doesn't get ANY home and takes it out on us..)i didn't flinch....shit...i must be really depressed.....i wound up in the basement (figuratively as well as metaphorically)and found myself in the company of a couple of seemingly fun twelfthies and natansh and a one of a kind senorita.....and then the day ended
done...finito...meiacha...khatam....
A new day is just the same shit just a different day........but God knows im not gonna fuckin feel depressed coz the king khan dont go down..thank yu
natansh...ur a real bitch.....frickin funny
SaNjAnA ....thanx senorita...know it or not u made me feel much better
Tarun....u r HilArIoUs
C ya all y'all in skool
Luv yu all homies
ThE rEd bArOn