Sometimes in life......

Its a funny thing ,life.Somedays you can just wake up in the morning drink your milk and walk out the door and neither know nor care how it turns out,"heck its just another day".
Days when you, go come and do without incident.
And then there are the second kind.Days when you just want to come back home.Hold your head.......and just cry.Its days lik ethese that my Nana warned me against.He said there would be days like these which "test you,its how life decides what you're made of".
But its always easier to get through these days with a hope,a light at the end of the tunnel.But when you look around you and all you see are stones of the pillars you stood by crumbling,it just feels so ...alone.
Im a normal guy. I try to be anyway.I got a lot of thing sthat a lot of people have ,abd i got dont have stuff too.Things that ,i dunno,maybe make a difference.
I dont have a Fossil watch,an expensive cellphone,and XBOX 360,or a yesterday that im proud of.I can't look back and say "goddamn...that moment,i owned it".Not that im blaming anyone for it.Don't get me wrong.Its just that when i look back five,six ,hell ten years i cant point my finger at one memory i dont ever want to die,or that one moment that everybody thinks of when they're alone and need a smile.
A very wise man once said:"the world dont care for how you feel or what your thinking of.The world wants champs.Its your actions that make you.Your thoughts just tell you what you think of yourself".I guess he was right.
Sometimes I sit and i wonder what if...what if i had done that thing the other way.What if i had cried when i laughed.What if i had hurt when i brushed it all aside.Would things have been different?
Sometimes i look around me and i see all these people that are .They are and donot simply exist.They have happy memories,success and something to show for all these years.I envy them .I envy them because for whatever reason ,whether their family always supported them or because they were made of something different than i am,they have something that i want .They have a chance,a direction a future,an oppurtunity.They have blue ties and certificates.They have friends that swear by them,they have how we say..a past,a future, but most importantly they have a present.
Sometimes when its raining i look out the window and i see the city all shiny and new looking.all clean and nice,and i spend some time on the balcony and let the wind wash over me.Its heals the burns i suppose.It makes me feel a lttle more healed.
I guess the reason i posted this long and tediosu post is simply because i want to tell you,yea YOU,to go out there.TO be something, to believe in something.Dont let the chains of doubt and duty pull you back.Stand up for what your are and don't let people tell you otherwise.When something feels right,just do it.If you love someone,tell them,waiting wont make it easier.And when you aren't sure ..throw the dice..see where they land..its all that matters..Learn from my mistakes,somebody really should.
I gotta go to sleep now,hell who knows maybe when i wake up the world will be a different colour ..maybe i'll be different .
Hell who knows.....maybe someday
FadZZ

i drew this in brilliant tutorials ....sexy hunh...my best yet...

I have a Theory

I have a theory…. A plausible theory. A well researched theory and in the true spirit of all such matters this too is absolutely pointless. It’s a theory that has been formulated over years of experience. Thirteen years at DPS – R K Puram have taught me a number of things. They has taught me Wisdom, Patience, Perseverance. They have failed as far as Harmonic Motion goes but then that is a different matter ! Now much like all other philosopher-giri I have ever had the audacity to indulge in, this little nugget of knowledge occurred to me in Chem Period. That is when all kinds of random thoughts make themselves comfortable in my sub-conscious. So, sit back and try and make sense out of this.
Many times in life we look down the road we have traveled and we remember the metaphorical potholes, the philosophical red lights and the proverbial cows in the middle of that road. We wonder “Yoon Hota to Kya Hota ?” If we had ‘done this’ or ‘not eaten that’ or done that ‘other thing’ while no one was looking would things be different? Would things have been smoother? Easier?.......... Less Expensive?
It is human to err , its human to overeat and its human to argue but more than that its human to wonder – What If ?
What if getting good marks was bad…I would have topped.
What if the policemen didn’t have paunches? Would we catch more criminals? What if my math teacher had a Mohawk? Would math have been more interesting ?
These important questions have importance and magnitude whose repercussions will be felt throughout the ages.
But getting back to my theory. These thoughts though enjoyable ….especially the one about my math teacher….are pointless and wind up giving your dad indigestion your mom a headache and your sister a pimple. I believe that God has a plan and a design for everybody. That no matter how dissatisfied we may be with our life thus far…Theres a reason for it all.
So no matter good or bad- great or nasty-pass or fail—she looks at me or she ignores me whatever happens happens for the best.
To misquote John F Kennedy…”Ask not yun hota to kya hota …ask what the hell do I do NOW???”

This was done by a friend of mine...a genius in every creative sense of the word the above dragon is mine however...pencil and permanent marker on wezerdine sheets...
Le masterpiece.....
Chem period...turned out better than i thot
sketched with skill...then mirrored and posted...
Theres a whole lot to fahad...more than just coarse slang..shamless use of adjectives and lunch..
i made these works of art..some out of free sketch and some computer generated...temme what you think

Raised eyebrow..
Once upon a time in galaxy far far away when the world was still young,and i didnt have a paunch,a time when logic and common sense didnt take a back seat to mindless stupidity(though personally im not against it),a time when men were men and not classified as ubersexual,metrosexual,retrosexual,jethrosexual,deathrowsexual....a time when the newspaper and televison MADE SENSE......

As i write this humble piece(this is the part where you protest and say "no fahad ...you writing is magnificent),i am eating chocolate cookie cream ice cream....now as generally occurs when i am eating ice cream many a weird and wonderful thought saunters into my obscenely idle mind and makes itself comfortable...and as is also my daily custom i tend to communicate these onto you and therefore infest your mind with my pointless and directionless thinking.And since today is bitch-slap-the-mali day i will make my point rather quickly before i walk out and beat the dingdongs out of my mali with his shears...another favorite pastime of mine.

The object of my pointless but not senseless(theres a difference..) tirade today is the tv...my one time true love.....
Usually i am idle...very idle in fact..but since we have holidays to do nothing...i have successfully reached new levels of idleness..So as any warm-blooded creature would do i switched on the tv....at which ensued a number of VERY big mistakes.Another episode of my life that has left me psychologically scarred.....
The first channel that popped up was Star Plus..(my first big mistake)...at which i deduced that our house maid had been catching up with her soaps again last night after we were asleep...She by the way is a complete addict.She literally has withdrawal symptoms when she misses a single episode of any of the 5 serials she watches.Anyway,to satisfy my morbid curiosity i watched about 15 secs of some rerun of some serial....In my humble opinion(thats your cue again...) i think 15 secs is a rather short time.I mean you cant even pick your nose in 15 secs,BUT in those 15 secs that i witnessed 2 couples divorce, 3 women announce that they're pregnant,5 people get slapped,12 close ups, 4 diffent background tunes and a man recieve a medical report describing him impotent....
My brain promptly short circuited and i passed out...
After i regained consciousness(which took a while considering i fell asleep while i had passed out) i took a swig of my grandfather vodka marshalled my strength and decided to take another run at the tv....my second big mistake....This time i picked channel 6...(seemed like an innocent no. at the time)Turned out to be Aaj Tak.
Now my humble(you know wat to do) understanding is that news channels are supposed to report NEWS..You know stuff like.."Bhutan declares war on Maldives....Clash of the titans leaves NYSE in a state of panic...Emegency meeting of Nato called"...something like that...
But noooooo....Aaj Tak goes and snoops out stories which involve a woman marrying a man who was secretly Dawood Ibrahims Chai-maker...But the woman was Chhota Shakeels step-dog's ex-owners niece's cousin and therefore the two of them got feuding..These reports are complete with re-enactments,background scores and EXCLUSIVE interviews with Chhota Shakeels step- dog.."...or theres even the story about the man who came back to his wife after 15 yrs and how he found her pregnant with his neighbours kid and now wants his wife back..but a woman who the husband knocked up while he was presumed dead turns up and says she's in love with the neighbour...Dont believe me?Check todays newspaper...Ekta Kapoor is suing Aaj Tak for plaigarism....I switched over to CNN and about this i kid you not....
at the bottom of the screen where the news flashes by it said,and i quote,"Beyonce declares she no longer like the word 'bootylicious' "....Oh my God NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!this can tbe happening how can she say that...HOW could she??????Im GOING TO KILL MYSELF...
I dont understand the fascination we have for celebrities.
News Anchor:"We now have breaking news from houston that Vince Vaughn and Jen Aniston have been SPOTTED shopping together...Time for another update...Vince Vaughn has picked up a carton of juice....this is NOT a drill, people......i REPEAT Vince Vaughn HAS picked up a carton of juice and has reportedtly handed it over to Jen....Back to you carol"

I passed out.....
Baron

The Book Of My Life

Let me watch by the fire and remember my days..
And it may be a trick of the candle light
But the flickering pages that trouble my sight .....
Is a book im afraid to write....


Its the book of my days ,its the book of my life...
And its cut a fruit on the blade of a knife.....
And its all there to see as the section reveals...
There's some sorrow in every life....

If it reads like a puzzle.a wandering maze....
Then I wont understand 'til the end of my days...
Im still forced to remember....

Remember the words of my life....

There are promises broken and promises kept....
Angry words taht were spoken,when i should have wept....
There's a chapetr of secrets and words to confess.......
If i lose everything that i possess....
Theres a chaptre on loss and a ghost who wont die.....
Theres a chapetr on love where the ink is never dry.....
Theres are sentences i served in a prison that i built out of lies...

Though teh pages are numbered i cant see where they lead.............
For the end is a mystery noone can read...
Such is the book of my life....

Theres a chapter on deeds i shouldnt have done....
There are pages of conflicts that nobody won.....
And the battles i lost and bitter defeat,Theres a page of what my soul needs......
There are tales of good fortune that couldn't be planned
Theres a chapter on God i dont understand...
Such is the book of my life.....

Though teh pages are numbered i cant see where they lead.............
For the end is a mystery noone can read...
Such is the book of my life....


Fahad Khan.........
what do you think??leave a comment

................................................All ye be of good cheer..im bacckkkk!!!!....................................................

A Happy Mongolian New Year to all....

Now,i dont claim to be a writer of much prowess for the very simple reason that,well,i suck.However should you have reasoned that i haven't been posting regularly, for lack of content to write on,may i take this opputunity to tell you to,"shut the dickens up,you presumptious pest and listen".
But today my point of diatribe is not my return from sabbatical.NO.The point of my incessant raving today is this-..........
Okay fine!!!! I dont have a point,cry me a river!....
Recently i have been spending a considerable amount of time critically evaluating the expertise of Mother dairy and pitting it against its worthy foes Vadilal and Kwality Walls.The fact that this review has had unnegligible side effects on my girth,has been waved aside,for i am willing to make that sacrifice in the service of my nation.
Furthermore whilst i have been engaged in the all consuming task of determining whether chocochip is ready to take on choco-cookie cream(my verdict?..nay)..a no of disturbing things have been moving right along unbeknownst to me.For example i was quietly minding my own business trying to figure out which one was a funnier sounding mineral...potash or feldspar..when i received the first inkling of disaster lurking about sinisterly,if sinisterly is the word im groping for,on the horizon.For you see in the Khan house hold when you hear the master of the house(my mum) say to anyone and noone,"Good idea.."you can be sure that some thing unpleasant in the vicinity of public humiliation, bloodshed,market losses and assorted rashes are sure to follow..
The other day i was in the tub scrubbing a thouroughly wrinkled foot(i had been sitting in there for an hour) singing,if memory serves,"Inky pinky ponkey..father had a donkey" when i was suddenly aware of the presence of the dear ol' coot of the Khan family,my grandfather, oozing about my room..no doubt in hot pursuit of his brandy flask i had previously pilfered..
I ,"ki haal chaal"-ed the ol fiend from the bathroom and asked him his business in my habitat at which he informed me that my grandmothers sisters were in town and would be paying us a visit,therefore he was looking for some marijuana i might have stashed in my socks.
At receiving this little nugget of information the soap shot of my hand.Im not fond of my grand aunts and from what i hear neither is the rest of the Free World.
Now here they were all prepared to infest the household with their tongue clicking and knuckle cracking and "aahaaa...kitna bada ho gaya hai Phahad"-ing,and their snide comments about my obvious lack of facial hair...
I try to be a tolerant man ,i do,but there are three things i hold in the lowest esteem-
1)grand aunts
2)slugs
3)Foodstuffs starting with the word Diet-.....

To get back to my point,if there ever existed such a thing...i had to take evasive action and quick for should these prime specimens of the scum of the gene pool corner me,no doubt questions pertaining to my "edoocasun" and "laedyfrends" were sure to follow..
"i suppose i can get drunk and spend the next few days snoozing ",said the aged relative.
I nodded my head,not much good considering he couldnt see me.
"Were going to have to do something about the annual reunion this year.",declared the ol hoot and followed teh comment up with a few choicy abuses i thought he only reserved for the CPI(Marxist)
I oscillated the noggin once more.I would be lying if i said that at this moment in time i was worried silly
A word about the Khan family reunion....
Its annoying.its irritating and above all...the fucking thing is periodic in nature..i ve never like the damned thing because many if not all of my nastiest memories have happened within 100 meters of this annoying congregation of annoying people who at the time were annoying the dingalings outta me ....
You cant delay bad weather,you cant make gay men go straight and you cant shut humanities students up...very much in the same vein you cant avoid family reunions and believe me i tried...oh lord knows i tried...i remember this one time when i was a kid i told my mom i couldnt attend the festivities because my ovaries were hurting and i promptly clutched my stomach...my mom shoved me off to say the prerequisite "Assalam Alaikum" to the elders..

So there it stood...a young child of 10 forced to bend my pride in front of a host of aunties of varying orders who looked like a bunch of prunes(u do know wat prunes are right??)..very wrinkly gossiply prunes..
I spent the day running around doing errands(fetching dentures,getting hankies that had been left about,sneaking my grandpa hs rum...),basically acting cute...While i heard about some "beta" of some ones who had done a Masters from Harvard or sumthing..(turned out it was Hamdard University...Aunty jee was just showing off)..or some husband who had bought his fat adoring wife a diamond necklace( they were zircons)..or some member of the family who was getting married this weekend and what the groom did("I heard he was serving The United Kingdom and Her Majesty"...he WAS...he was assistant vice-butler)..all these shenanigans ensued ...the lies persisted("ohhh..youve lost so much weight...i just bought a Rolls Royce..he's MY son..you know..)...and the pestilential cousins descencded on my room("FAAHaaaaaaD..."barked me mum..."entertain them ")..
"Entertain them ..entertain them??wat in teh hell do you think i am ..a godammned clown..i wont do it woman and theres nothing you can fucking well do about it!!!!""
My exact wordings were,"Yes mum"..A word to the wise...never..EVER deny a woman who has power of attorney over your bank account.
The cousins came ..they saw..they cracked fart jokes.And i was left wondering how these migits had evaded teh talent scouts of Drexler Home For The Weird ...or some other such institution...
When i came a across a real cutie sitting across me in MY bedroom...17 years of age,all style and elegance ...and hot as hel...but i turned my face way and proceeded to play yet another round of pull my finger with a gaggle of stupid 8 year olds...
"But Fahad..i am shocked and disappointed...why dint yu put teh moves on this chick ..she was obviously as bored as you and who knows ..this could be a good thing.."..
You make a good point..but you forget ,you dumbass,that this was a FAMILY reunion..a place where people you are RELATED to congregate...
Its a strange thing..but much like animals(which my fmaily does to a shicking extent resemble) the entire content of my house were divided into cliques...and had accordingly occupied tehir rooms..
YOu had your..
-Aunties(saree and salwar kameez talking about maids and weddings..two very popular subjects among their age bracket
-Uncles..who downing whiskey liek fish..to numb teh pain presumably..
-The menopausal middle aged women
-The balding middle aged men
-Me
-The Bacha Brigade
When all the pain had passed and the cretin had left the Khan household to crawl back in tehir respective homes..i went back to my room to find Grandpa dearest sitting in my recliner with his eyes glazed over...i deduced he had found teh pot he was looking for....
I went to sleep that night a brokena bruised man..hoping for some renumeration in the form of
Toblerones..etc..i dropped hints and called those less compliant "selfish maggots" to make a point...
so that night i slept with 12boxes of burfi and 3.96 megatonnes of dry fruit(teh cheap bastards) safely tucked ayway in my fridge...
Ah death where is thy sting....
Baron